Table of contents:
- What is the meaning of friendzone?
- The meaning of friendzone is seen from a biological perspective
- Tracing the meaning of friendzone through the psychological side
- Not that friendzone is a cursed zone
- Do not cranky if you are in-friendzone
We've all encountered the following dim romance plots being turned into a big screen box office or knitted into heart-wrenching lyrics: a boy and girl have been good friends for a long time. But unbeknownst to the woman, the man has long harbored feelings for her. Eh, in the end the man dared to confess love, the woman just considered him an ordinary friend. And then, out of nowhere she got the most powerful wangsit, the woman finally realized that she actually loved her male friend too.
Sadly, this plot is actually the opposite in the real world. One party became sulky because they did not accept being shackled by the label "just friends," alias friendzone.
What is the meaning of friendzone?
In popular culture, the meaning of friendzone is an imaginary place where in the friendship of two people, one of the parties - often, men - feels that his or her approach has been tricked or ignored by the person who is the object of his love, aka the friend.
Even though the man has treated her friend like the single most valuable woman in the world, the woman still considers her as a best friend and not as a potential partner for life. Then rejected by his love, this friendzone warrior man feels exploited, cheated, and his pride is destroyed because they have sacrificed so much for their idol.
The meaning of friendzone implies that if you have treated a woman enough gentleman, You are entitled to a reciprocal romantic or sexual reward.
In fact, daily experience shows that pure friendship between a man and a woman is a legitimate thing, without having to have any powder of love in between.
The meaning of friendzone is seen from a biological perspective
Biological meaning can be explained through the Bateman principle. This principle outlines that as a mammal, humans' top priority on earth is to reproduce in order to increase their chances of having more offspring in the world and ensure our species survive. This is the reason why men and women are busy looking for their life partners.
Researchers believe this instinct to mate ingrained in humans can indirectly determine whether a man and a woman can genuinely be sincere friends. Gathered from various scientific studies, men tend to admit that they are sexually attracted and desire a stronger desire to date their female friends - than the other way around.
Instinctively, women are much more patient and selective in their "matchmaking" efforts because the capacity of their reproductive system to be able to produce eggs optimally is very limited and has an "expiration date". While men are not. Men are designed to be able to produce millions of sperm cells with minimal effort.
Thus, the meaning of friendzone in terms of human biology can be interpreted as the selective and careful efforts of women in choosing a "mate" so as not to waste the reproductive success of their offspring, while men naturally compete with each other to show their virility and sexual abilities - that he is the best among the others and the most suitable reproductive partner.
Men also generally tend to exaggerate the reaction of their female friends as a response to sexual attraction from the bait they throw, resulting in a misunderstanding between the two. This is because males inherently, genetically, run the risk of losing the opportunity to reproduce if they do not take "advantage of the various reproductive opportunities." So, is it true that men and women cannot be just friends?
Tracing the meaning of friendzone through the psychological side
The compatibility between two parties is the main reason when we start looking for a mate. Someone we perceive as a potential partner because we feel like we want to spend more time with that person. We feel happy and comfortable in the presence of this person when we hang out with them. Similarities and chemistry between individuals is important when developing strong friendships.
However, we also look for these qualities not only to find a soul mate. Chemistry is also important for friendship. This may be what makes some people feel that their friendship "deserves" to continue to a more romantic level with the excuse "I'm really comfortable / connected with you" and feel their needs have been met by each other - not by someone outside. their friendship.
The attractiveness of men and women who develop into cross-gender friendships may arise from the effects of repeated exposure. In psychology, this is the effect when a person is very accustomed to being around others for a long period of time and repeatedly, and then begins to let down his guard over time. Their "wall" of persistence begins to crumble and they will start to like the person. This is normal and happens to everyone.
Windfried Sedhoff, a mental health expert from Brisbane, agrees that if your friend (who is of the opposite sex) can fulfill all the expectations and desires you have for romantic relationships, this can prevent genuine and meaningful platonic friendships. , reported by the News.
On the other hand, a pure friendship without sexual desire is possible - but it all depends on who you ask. Experience [of friendship between one partner can be different from another. After all, friendship itself is subjective.
Not that friendzone is a cursed zone
Men and women can be true friends. It's just that sometimes the instinctive human urge to reproduce gets in the way of the smoothness of your friendship. However, sexual attraction is only limited to attraction, it does not mean that it needs to be followed up. It's natural to find your best friend physically and sexually attractive. After all, we are all human. The important thing is to have healthy boundaries.
Apart from all human needs, a relationship between two people (whether non-romantic or romantic) does not involve contracts, transactions, reward systems, or anything of the sort. Plus, someone who is nice to a friend of the opposite sex does not automatically qualify them as a life partner, or make you worthy of the opportunity to have a romantic relationship with them.
Being someone with a good personality is a character that every human being is expected to have in every social interaction with other people, with or without the lure of romance.
Do not cranky if you are in-friendzone
We don't live in a romantic comedy where a guy continues clinging in a girl, both of them will fall in love with each other. Humans in real life are much more complicated than two-dimensional stories. If girls don't reciprocate their male friend's romantic feelings, they may have a reason. Whatever the reason for rejecting your love, it is still valid.
It is your responsibility as a friend to respect their decisions as reasonable, whether we agree with them or not. Instead of accusing them of throwing you into the abyss of a dark and endless friendzone. The success of cross-gender friendships depends on how well both parties communicate and respect each other.
