Being friends with an ex-boyfriend, is it possible?

Many people treat their ex-boyfriends like strangers after their relationship is over. Even if you can, look away when you are on the road. There are many reasons for this. Either because they are still sad or upset over the fire of romance, or just because they have successfully moved on and don't want to be trapped in old memories anymore. But actually, is it possible to be friends with an ex-boyfriend?

Being friends with an ex-boyfriend, isn't it natural, huh?

Often we think that a relationship that ends is a failure. However, making friends with an ex-boyfriend is not impossible. One study published in the journal Personal Relationships found friendships are possible if you and the other person break up nicely.

Even in one study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, if the two of you had started friendship, it is not impossible to return to friends after the relationship ran aground in the middle of the road.

According to Rebecca Griffith, a psychologist at the University of Kansas in the United States, previous research reports that 60 percent of couples who have broken up remain friends.

Even so, getting back to friends with your ex may be a little difficult in some cases. If your relationship ended because of cheating, jealousy, or trust issues, it may feel nearly impossible to get back together. But if you and he can finally end the conflict peacefully, getting back friends is possible if there were no more thorns in the flesh.

Why are you friends with your boyfriend?

A study published in the journalAmerican Psychological Association discover four reasons why people choose to be friends with their ex-boyfriends. This study also looked at whether the reasons for this friendship were related to positive feelings such as making you feel safe and happy, or vice versa, namely negative feelings that made you feel depressed, jealous and heartbroken.

The first reason is security. A person who has broken up does not want to lose the emotional support, advice, and trust of people who were very close to him.

Second reason is friends with the ex (husband) is practical, maybe also for financial reasons or children.

The third reason is appreciating your ex's feelings. Someone wants to be polite and doesn't want to hurt other people's feelings, so they usually stay friends.

Fourth reason is because there is still a feeling that hasn't gone away. This reason is the most frequent reason.

Being friends with an ex-boyfriend, will it last?

This study also looked at the relationship between the reasons a person remains friends with an ex-girlfriend and how long the friendship lasts, and how positively it will last. Based on the four reasons mentioned above, two relate to emotional needs, namely security and unresolved feelings. Two more reasons have to do with non-emotional needs, namely practical and maintaining the feelings of the ex-boyfriend.

Researchers report that non-emotional reasons are more likely to lead to long-lasting and lasting friendships. Relationships that give rise to positive feelings, which make a person feel safe and happy are more likely to develop than those that give rise to negative feelings.

Uniquely, the reason for being friends is because they still have feelings that are associated with negative feelings, usually they will last a long time. In a 2016 study, some people admitted that they still want to be friends with their exes because they still have feelings and can't imagine their ex-boyfriends with other people.