Table of contents:
- What are the signs that you and your partner are not ready to have children?
- 1. Not ready financially
- 2. Other goals in life have not been achieved
- 3. There is a fear of failing to become parents
- 4. Still feel comfortable living alone with a partner
- 5. You and your partner hope to have children can improve the relationship
Married couples have different opinions about the meaning of being married. Some married couples feel ready to add their baby to their small family as soon as possible. However, it is not uncommon for couples to want to delay having children, even claiming that they are not ready. So, what do you usually consider or indicate that you and your partner are not ready to have children?
What are the signs that you and your partner are not ready to have children?
Choosing to have children is indeed a big decision made when you have a family, regardless of how old you and your partner are. Of course, not all married couples have sufficient readiness to face these changes.
Generally, the reasons why a husband and wife are not ready to have children are as follows:
1. Not ready financially
It is no secret that having children means that you and your partner must be able to support the child financially in caring for and raising him or her. Starting from the cost of education, daily necessities, to pocket money you have to prepare from the start.
In addition, when you decide to have kids, you should prepare for the possibility of spending less on things you and your partner enjoy, such as hobbies, traveling abroad, or buying certain things.
You and your partner may not be ready to have children if this is still a major concern.
2. Other goals in life have not been achieved
There are times when you and your partner still have a life goal or vision that has not been achieved, whether it is the goal of both of you and of each other. For example, you still want to focus on your career, or your partner's dream to travel the world has not been achieved.
Sometimes, the goals of life as mentioned earlier take up a lot of time and attention, so having children is believed by some to just be a distraction.
In addition, if you and your partner think that having children is the same as sacrificing your life goals and vision, it means that you and your partner are not ready to have children.
3. There is a fear of failing to become parents
Many married couples worry that they will not be good parents for their children in the future. Some of the reasons include the risky childbirth process, thinking about the most appropriate way to educate children, to facing problems when your little one is a teenager.
This fear usually arises from hearing stories from friends, family, or even from personal experiences in childhood. If you still feel this confusion, it may be a sign that you and your partner are not ready to have children.
4. Still feel comfortable living alone with a partner
The early days of marriage are generally the most beautiful times for almost every married couple. You can end up spending more time alone with your partner,
Maybe one of you or your partner is afraid that something new will emerge that can change the relationship between you and your marriage. One of them is the presence of a child.
You need to know that changes will inevitably occur in your marriage after you give birth, and they are impossible to avoid. However, if you are worried that more negative changes will happen than positive ones, maybe this is not the right time for you to have a baby.
5. You and your partner hope to have children can improve the relationship
A number of married couples with unharmonious relationships believe that having children can restore warmth and closeness to their partners. In fact, this is not always true.
According to Dr. Liz Higgins, a family psychologist quoted by Elite Daily, hopes that the presence of children can improve marital harmony, which is a sign that you and your partner are not ready to have children.
Dr. Higgins added, having children creates more challenges and risks of conflict than couples who do not have children.
Therefore, instead of thinking that children can be the solution to a messy household, it is better to focus first on improving the relationship between you and your partner before deciding to have a child.
