Table of contents:
- Attitudes that need to be avoided when fighting with a partner
- 1. Defend yourself
- 2. Always feel right
- 3. Bring up the mistakes
- 4. Refusing to discuss
- 5. Always interrupts and won't listen
Poor communication can lead to strained relationships and stress. Unfortunately, many people find it difficult to apply good communication patterns when arguing with their partners. Most people tend to behave and speak uncontrollably which of course can lead to new conflicts. For this reason, there are various attitudes that should be avoided when fighting with a partner, so that the problem does not drag on.
Attitudes that need to be avoided when fighting with a partner
In order for your relationship and your partner to stay awake even though you are fighting, it's good to avoid the following attitudes such as:
1. Defend yourself
The ego will be very difficult to control when you are fighting with your partner. Many people actually defend themselves rather than admit their mistakes. Usually this is done out of prestige, doesn't want to be blamed, and rejects the fact that he really caused the problem.
You can just chuckle and defend your argument. However, do not be surprised if your partner slowly withdraws from the relationship that is currently being undertaken. Defending yourself when you are wrong will not solve the problem. Better, admit it openly and learn to take responsibility for mistakes that have been made.
2. Always feel right
Just because your partner doesn't share the same views doesn't mean you are the right one. The reason is, you do not force your partner to be able to see and perceive things in the same way. Don't just feel like your partner is in the wrong when you both have different opinions.
Instead of feeling the most righteous, it's best to find a middle ground to mediate the differences between you and your partner. Don't just always want to be right without listening and ignoring the views of your partner.
Don't just think about your satisfaction because a relationship is something that both of you live by mutual agreement. So that whatever happens, the interests, happiness and satisfaction of both parties must take precedence.
3. Bring up the mistakes
When you and your partner experience conflicts, usually the words that are often come up are "You always …", "You never …". The sentences beginning with this word are meant to generalize the situation. Though the facts may be otherwise.
If you say this to your partner, it is not impossible that he will feel disrespected. The reason is, the efforts he has done so far are not considered only because of one small mistake. If the partner feels unappreciated, the conflict that occurs can escalate.
4. Refusing to discuss
When a partner offers to discuss a problem, it is not uncommon for one of the parties to refuse it. Whether because they don't want to be blamed, even discuss it, and various other reasons. Well, you really need to stay away from this attitude when fighting with your partner.
Problems can only be solved by talking about them. However, when you insist on not discussing it your relationship will never improve. If you think that the problem will be resolved without needing to talk about it then you are mistaken.
When fighting, the one who has angry feelings is not only you but also your partner. But think about it, even though your partner is angry, they are still trying to solve it by inviting you to discuss it. Therefore, lower your ego by opening yourself up to solve both of your problems.
5. Always interrupts and won't listen
Everyone can talk but not everyone can listen, especially when fighting with a partner. Many people try to interrupt and prepare what to say in response to their partner. Unfortunately, it is very selfish if you do this to anyone, including your partner.
The reason is, if you are always interrupting and are not a good listener then you will not know what your partner is really complaining about. Therefore, learn to be a good listener when your partner is talking. By listening to them, you can understand your partner's point of view and empathize with his feelings.
