Husband and wife relationship feels bland after years of marriage?

When you were just married, sex was always exciting and challenging. Maybe just seeing your partner can arouse your desire. However, over time the sex drive can decrease so that the husband and wife relationship can no longer feel satisfying. Wow, does this mean that the fire of your romance with your partner has been extinguished? Or is this a natural thing? Find out the answer below.

Sex drive is still there, but not satisfied after having sex with a partner

Sex that is not satisfying is not necessarily a sign that the two of you are no longer in love with each other. In fact, according to a social psychologist and researcher from the University of Toronto in Canada, Jessica Maxwell, Ph.D., it's only natural that a partner's sexual desire fades after two to three years of marriage.

This doesn't mean you will lose interest in sex forever, you know. You may still have a fairly high libido or sex drive. However, after having sex with your partner, you will no longer be able to get the satisfaction you first had. You feel as if you are still in charge or something is missing. It is because you are not satisfied that you can “run” to pornographic films or masturbate.

Furthermore, Jessica explained that basically sexual pleasure requires effort and hard work from both parties. Meanwhile, many people mistakenly assume that as long as the two of them love each other, automatically sex will also be exciting.

The cause of the husband and wife relationship does not feel as satisfying as it used to be

Yes, sex life must always be fought for, you can't just ignore it, but you hope to get satisfaction. Unfortunately, the things below can be a barrier or cause a husband and wife relationship to feel bland.

1. You and your partner lack communication

The quality of an intimate relationship between husband and wife can be measured by how well you communicate with your partner. Household relationships that are not communicative, dishonest, and not intimate can cause a partner's sex life to be unsatisfactory.

2. One partner is busy

It is undeniable that busy activities make you tired and want to go to sleep at night. It's different from the past, for example, when you were just married and you were willing to go home quickly to be alone with your partner.

3. Tired of sex that's all

If new spices are not added, the sex life of a married couple will feel bland for a long time. Sex has become just routine, no longer a place to get closer. As a result, you may find yourself seeking more challenging entertainment, such as watching pornographic videos where the stars are always trying out new acts.

How to raise a sex life with a partner

1. Talk to your partner

At first you may not be used to talking about sex with your partner. However, a strong home and intimate relationship begins with openness, mutual trust, and a willingness to compromise. This also applies to a partner's sex life.

If you are bored, tell your partner what makes you bored. Don't just say, “I'm lazy. Later, yes. " You can try saying, “Honey, I've always wanted to try positionscowgirl.You interested, not?Let's try, let's. Later, if you don't like it, don't continue. "

2. Solve the problem at hand

If your partner is fighting or you secretly harbor disappointment with your partner, sex will not feel good either. Therefore, you should first solve and communicate the problem at hand. Find a solution together. Only then can you focus entirely on sex affairs.

3. Remember and repeat when sex was really satisfying

Remembering and repeating scenes when you and your partner have fun sex can be a solution. Try to remember, what you did before having great sex with your partner. For example, what clothes you wore, what music accompanied your love story, and what made you and your partner fall in love at that time.

You can also bring back those memorable moments. For example, by going on vacation to where you were on your honeymoon at that time or making love while listening to the song playing on your wedding day.