Breaking away from the bondage of abusive relationships & bull; hello healthy

Violence against partners used to be referred to as domestic violence, aka Domestic Violence (KDRT), but the term that is now starting to be used more and more is intimate partner violence. This is largely because more and more people are now embracing the stereotype that "perpetrators of violence are always men and victims are always women" is not always true.

Intimate partner violence is any act, attempt, or threat of violence or violence by a family member or intimate partner. This could be for yourself or your partner in the intimate relationship.

Torture can take many forms including physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal. This can include defamatory nicknames, derogatory comments, or physical strength - including (and not limited to) slapping, hitting, and kicking. Intimate partner violence does not require sexual intimacy and is not exclusive to heterosexual or homosexual couples.

Why is it hard to get away from the relationshipabusive?

Nobody wants to admit that they are in a relationship abusive, but acknowledging how dangerous a partner is can sometimes be more difficult without physical violence. Many people ask “Why not just run away? Why did he choose to stay with that person instead? " - it's not that simple. It is important to understand that there are many barriers to safety in relationships abusive; for example, the threat of life, financial monopoly, or fear. Leaving a partner is often dangerous and there are many factors the "victim" must consider in analyzing how to respond to an abusive partner.

How to get out of the bondage of an abusive relationship

As you begin to notice that your partner is making you feel sad more than you are happy, it is time to find ways to break free.

1. Recognize the abuse

Your first line of defense is to always demand that he stop his violent and violent behavior. While this may sound like the obvious thing to do, many victims do not realize that they deserve to be treated with respect, and are therefore not demanding their rights. Abuser Emotional aims to undermine your self-esteem and force you to feel dependent on them. Make it clear to your partner that you are open to hearing concerns about your actions and how they might affect them, but will no longer engage in conversations that attack who you are as a person.

Pay attention to the way your partner talks to you and the times you may feel your partner is manipulating you. Educate yourself about domestic violence and abuse. Look for words and phrases commonly found in verbal and emotional abuse, a side effect of relationships abusive, “gaslighting " (psychological manipulation tactics by criminals to make the public judge themselves as weak), and brainwashing. Learning a little each day about how your partner manipulates and controls you reduces their ability to do so.

Also, consider what you are willing to do for him? What are you really not going to do? Make sure you tailor this request to your personal well-being and integrity. Don't agree to do simple things to just keep the peace or save a crisis, especially if you know deep down it's not right for you. This allows you to move forward the next step from a place of power, not a place of fear.

If you find yourself consistently helpless in front of your partner, stop beating yourself up and start admitting the real problem. The sooner you allow yourself to recognize action abusive, the sooner you can begin to find your way out.

2. Make peace with yourself

You have to get rid of self-loathing. It's okay for you to see your weaknesses, but don't criticize yourself for what makes you yourself. Everyone has imperfections and nothing is perfect. Don't try to be and don't put undue pressure on yourself to be someone you are not. Be honest with yourself and embrace yourself. This is necessary before you begin to deal with stressed emotions, such as feelings of shame, fear, and anger.

Understand that to be truly free from abusive relationships involves developing healthy relationships with yourself and with other people. To do this, never say anything insulting or self-injurious. Decide to be kind and loving to yourself. Don't continue with verbal dialogue in your head that repeats or reflects whatever negative things your partner has said about you.

3. Create a safety plan

There will be moments of joy and joy in relationships abusive You. Nothing prevents you from enjoying sex, compliments, jokes, but don't get carried away by the atmosphere. Don't assume that because he (ends up) smiling for a moment that the smile will be there in the next moment. Humans need joy in their lives, so make the most of everything you can.

Despite all that, you still need a plan of salvation. The behavior of someone who is abusive unpredictable and you never know when you will have to stay away from them. Thinking of a plan of salvation during times of peace will help you to think more quickly and clearly in times of danger.

Find ways to reconnect with other people who support and love you for exactly who you are. Isolation is the offender's best friend. When you are isolated from others, you lose the most valuable handle on life you can have - the ideas and outlook on life of people other than the doer. The impact of his abusive and cruel behavior can be increased by just hearing your partner's opinion, so it is good to stay in touch with the outside world as well:

• Contact a women's foundation or local LBH and find out how you can use their services, if necessary.
• Get help from trusted family members, friends, coworkers, or neighbors about your situation and come up with an escape plan.
• Record all incidents of violence. Records of all dates, events and threats created.
• Collect evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
• Save and hide a spare set of vehicle keys.
• Set aside money. Ask friends or family members to save money for you.
• Pack the bags, including anything important to you, such as identification, car papers, birth certificates, social security cards, credit cards, clothes for yourself and your children, shoes, medicine, banking information, money, and important phone number. This will allow you to leave quickly when the situation calls for it.

One of the most difficult things about planning a safety plan is that it forces you to deal with what's going on in your relationship realistically. When you honestly analyze your abusive relationship, panic about leaving begins. Try to keep your anxiety under control by thinking that you have come this far and that you can endure a little longer while you decide whether to stay or leave.

It is very important that you keep your plan of safety secret. Be careful who you turn to for your help planning your safety. Make sure people you trust won't betray and reveal secrets. Even if you plan to stay, your partner won't like that you've talked to other people about what he's doing.

If you've been physically abused, it's important to leave the relationship as soon as you can. However, rushing to leave and for good is not always possible. The purpose of this plan of salvation is to keep you as safe as possible until you can, or decide to, permanently leave your partner.

4. Don't give second chances

Once you have made the decision to leave, do so without giving up hope. Ending the relationship with the "open door" will only allow your partner to continue to manipulate you and bring you back into his grasp. If you own a pet or shared property, agree on who will retain ownership.

Take all of your belongings with you at once, and take a friend or family member with you if you need help getting moving. Make it as clear as possible to cut off all relationships so that your ex-partner will have no reason to wriggle back into your life in the future.

In the end, only you can decide what behavior is abusiveit is something you are willing to tolerate or not. A romantic relationship should be something that supports your growth, not something that threatens it. Love respects who you are; doesn't drag you into misery. You deserve a strong and loving romantic relationship.