Are you a passive aggressive person? this feature

The term passive aggressive may be foreign to your ears, but this behavior pattern is encountered on a daily basis. In your life, you must know at least one person who is passive aggressive. It could also turn out that you have this tendency yourself. Passive aggression is someone's way of conveying disappointment or anger in an implicit, indirect alias. Usually this attitude is driven by fear or reluctance to express negative emotions directly.

Passive aggression is usually characterized by harboring negative emotions so that these pent up emotions will be unconsciously revealed through your actions or words. Or you often feel that other people cannot understand and comply with your wishes, but you cannot be angry. In the end you will just silence the person until the person realizes what mistake they made. Feel that you experience this often? Read on for the explanation below to see if you are a passive aggressive person and how to change this behavior.

The characteristics of a passive aggressive person

Although quite a number of people are passive aggressive, this trait is not easily recognized. In most cases, people who are passive aggressive will not even recognize or possibly deny that they have this tendency. So, pay close attention to the following traits and examples of passive aggressive behavior. If you feel that most of the signs listed apply to your circumstances, then you may be a passive aggressive person.

• Sulking and sulking when upset
• Bursting emotions in order to avoid conflict
• Does not like to speak straightforwardly
• Often use sarcasm or sarcasm
• End an argument or fight with words like, "Whatever,", "Okay," or "Ok, fine!”
• Always think negative and cynical
• Not confident
• Often complains that he is not appreciated or always cheated
• Tend to blame circumstances or other people when making mistakes
• Heavy hearted if asked or asked for help
• Deliberately forgetting, procrastinating, or not completing a job optimally if you object to the work being done
• Hope that other people can understand what you think and feel

Changing passive aggressive behavior

Passive aggression is a behavior pattern that is learned and developed on its own, not genetically inherited. So, anyone can change this behavior if they have a strong motivation. Usually this behavior appears slowly since you were a child. If your child grows up with threats or punishments every time he shows negative emotions, he will also learn to suppress those emotions and instinctively avoid fights. However, this behavior can also occur if a person has never learned to express their opinions or feelings openly. It could be because of a lack of open communication with parents and caregivers or because children are being taught that anger is an unacceptable emotion. Here are five key keys a passive aggressive person must master in order to control his tendencies.

1. Find out the causes of your behavior

By knowing what causes your passive aggressive behavior, you will realize and accept that this trait will benefit no one. Maintaining this trait is tantamount to causing trouble with those around you. For example, suppose you started acting passive aggressively because your parents were the same way back then. From there, you learn that this trait actually causes a gap between you and your parent's relationship. In order not to repeat the same mistakes, you will be more motivated to change your current nature.

2. Understand the pattern

Passive aggression must appear every time there is a trigger. So, really understand your behavior patterns. This can be done by keeping a diary regularly so that you can look back on certain events with a more objective view. Over time you will learn the triggers for your passive aggressive nature. This experience and knowledge will then become a reference when negative emotions start to hit. If you are already feeling signs of passive aggression in your words or actions, hold back and force yourself to rethink before it's too late.

3. Think before you act

The trick is to use logic. For example, suppose you are upset because your partner had eaten before picking you up. Before starting to sulk and silence your partner, think about it first. Did you ask her to eat earlier? Or do you hope that he already knows you want to eat together? Keep in mind that other people will never be able to fulfill your wishes if you never directly convey what you want.

The logic seems simple, but when you are under an emotional rage it is usually difficult to think clearly. To make it easier, create your own special mantra for practicing the habit of thinking before you act. For example, remember that it is not someone else's job to read your thoughts, but you must speak them out yourself.

4. Learn to accept volatile emotions

Passive aggressive people have a hard time managing negative emotions such as grief, disappointment, or anger. That's why you prefer not to show it in person. So you must learn to understand that negative emotions are normal, both to feel and to express. Nobody is perfect in this world, so anyone can get angry or sad. If you have trouble processing these emotions, you can confide in friends you trust or seek professional help such as counselors and psychologists.

5. Be honest in expressing your intentions and feelings

Get in the habit of being honest and open whenever you feel a certain emotion. While openness runs the risk of causing a fight or conflict, at least when fighting you can communicate with each other and make each other's points clearer. That way, solving problems will be easier than if you just keep quiet and hope that other people can change according to your expectations. Besides, not all fights are bad, really.