Table of contents:
- Are you ready to get married?
- 1. You have good reasons why you want to get married
- 2. Plan a home life - not just a party scene
- 3. Be open to each other - including financial matters
- 4. Solve problems together - not avoid each other
- 5. You can't live without him, but it's okay to be alone too
Marriage is one of the greatest commitments in life. Look right and left, many of your comrades in arms have carried the trailer with them wherever they go - some of them even have a hard time carrying children. This leaves you deep in thought, "When is it my turn?" But, do you just want to get married because of the influence of friends or do you really want to marry your partner? Take a peek at the signs below and find out if you are really ready for marriage.
Are you ready to get married?
1. You have good reasons why you want to get married
Try closing your eyes and really imagining the reason in fact why do you want to get married. What benefits will you get from marrying your spouse, compared to continuing the current relationship as it is? Ask yourself tough questions and make sure you are physically and mentally prepared for marriage.
Being in love and being ready to marry are two very different things. If you marry this person just because you think they will make a good husband / wife to you and a good parent to your children in the future, but you don't really love them, then you have to reconsider whether you are ready for marriage in general. or ready to marry himself (and only himself) specifically.
If you and your partner have fundamental differences in beliefs, vision and mission, morals, and ideas, this will lead to ongoing issues in your household that may become even more difficult to handle later. For example, not being able to agree on what principles your children will be raised.
2. Plan a home life - not just a party scene
Who never daydreams about what the wedding will be like? A wedding party is an exhilarating occasion, an opportunity to spend valuable time with friends and relatives at the same time. But, is your goal just to have a wedding party that is most magnificent and unmatched by other friends and you are the center of attention? or you really want to wade through the household with the him?
The wedding feast lasts only a few hours, while life as a married couple lasts (hopefully) a lifetime. So don't plan for one day - plan the rest of your life for the two of you.
When you think about your future, your partner's position is clear in the image. That is the sign that you are ready to get married. Not just for certain times and situations, such as a "plus one" party for a friend's fiancé or as a bored entertainer friend during a family vacation. Pause for a moment to look ahead and believe that you want him to be involved in every moment of your life, both for the worse - as well as where you are in his life plan.
Once you've agreed to be serious and have decided to commit to each other, you need to plan together. What if your partner has to move to another city or country? Are you OK with staying home, or are you going out with your partner? Know what each party wants, and make sure you are willing to compromise in order to achieve these common goals and plans.
3. Be open to each other - including financial matters
One sign that you may not be ready to marry is if you keep an important secret from your partner. This could include the people closest to you (with whom you spend the most time), personal financial information, or a tendency to abuse drugs and alcohol.
No matter how long you've been dating, you need to know your partner inside out. Don't get married just because you've been dating for three months or even ten years. Get married because you understand him. You know the past, you know what their dreams and hopes for the future are and how they got there. Beyond that, you trust them. Trust is the most important thing in domestic life, so make sure that you can trust him completely.
Let him see the real you when he is most vulnerable. So that you no longer worry that one day he will find out that you are not always relaxed and sane. Sometimes, you can get really badly screwed. It sees you at your worst, and it stays by your side. Vice versa
4. Solve problems together - not avoid each other
Don't just want to get married because you think that getting married will solve the problems the two of you are dating now. First resolve the conflict between the two of you, then get married. Moreover, you and your partner will face much more complex obstacles by the time you are married. You will know that you are ready to marry when you realize that as soon as a problem strikes, you want to immediately counsel together with a cool head in order to solve the problem so that it does not explode in the future.
Life as a married couple is like a partnership, which means you have to share your problems without either party feeling hurt. Different views on solving problems are common, but here is where compromise is important. If you are determined to live together in the coming years, then you need to be able and willing to let some things go. Solving problems and compromising in a relationship will build a strong foundation for a healthy married life.
Make sure there is no grudge between the two of you. If something is bothering you, you should be able to bring it up for discussion, even if you're worried that it will make you look silly or might end up in an argument.
5. You can't live without him, but it's okay to be alone too
Overall, yes, you do love your partner. You cannot imagine yourself without him. You know you can't be happy when you are with other people, and that you will feel very upset if you are not with your partner.
At the same time, you no longer have to worry about what he does when you are not there. You don't have the slightest doubt about the potential for him to go out with his friends out of town, for example. You know very well that, apart from domestic life, you and your partner are not conjoined twins who have to do anything together. You believe in him (read point 3). You are just so excitedly looking forward to his return to your lap.
In addition, if he was your friend and party you could trust, every argument at hand would seem like the end of the world, even when over trivial issues. You still need a support system from outside (read: family and friends, even time alone). Also keep in mind that friends and family are the people who understand you the most, for all the good and the bad, and if they think there's something wrong with your relationship, it might be a good idea to listen.
Most importantly, even if you meet all of these criteria and you still feel like you're not ready for marriage, don't worry too much - it can grow over time. What's the rush, anyway?