Recognize the phase of a possessive child and how to deal with it

As toddlers develop, you will experience moments where children become very possessive of objects or people around them. They will assume that all objects and people around them are theirs, and that no one else touches or possesses them.

If anyone dared to touch the toy, they would get angry. Or if they asked for food, they would cry. It could also be that when the father or mother talks to other people or has to work, the child becomes hysterical. Although annoying, this possessive behavior is a normal stage in their developmental age.

Why toddlers can be possessive?

The possessive phase usually starts from 18 months to 4 years of age. This phase is a normal stage of development, because in this phase toddlers learn to understand the concepts of ownership, bonds, and their identity.

An earlier study also states that possessive behavior is known as "endowment effect"It is not only owned by adults, but also toddlers. Endowment effect is a term that indicates that a person tends to think that the things he owns are more valuable just because they are owned by him.

A child development psychologist at the University of Michigan also explains that toddlers' thinking is still very simple. From 2 to 4 years of age, toddlers realize that they can claim something or someone as their own only through words like, “This is mine!”. So don't be surprised if your child will claim all the things he likes as his own.

In addition, at the age of five, they also begin to realize their existence. For example, when their baby will look in the mirror and think that what they see in the mirror is another baby. Meanwhile, toddlers already know that the reflection in the mirror is himself. So, along with the development of toddlers' awareness of their existence and identity, toddlers also begin to realize their ownership. Toddlers will feel that their identity is getting stronger if they succeed in claiming something as their own and being agreed by others.

Can a possessive child change?

Dealing with possessive children is difficult and full of challenges. However, what you need to know issharing or sharing is not a concept that kids can easily accept. So, if you want to train a possessive child to be more willing to share, then you need to guide your child patiently. Learning to share for the child takes a process over time. Here are some steps you can take to help with the process:

Train your child to start sharing with his own parents. This will be easier because they know you won't grab it, and they can get their toys back.
Go to the playground often. Invite your little one to play outside. This is the best place for children to learn to socialize, share toys, and take turns playing with their friends. If your child wants to bring their own toy from home, ask your child to set aside at least one toy that can be shared with others.
Ask children to lend them items that they have a lot of. For example, story books, legos, crayons, and others. The reason is, sharing a large number of things will certainly be easier.
Be patient when teaching your child to share. Over time this possessive child phase will decrease as well.
Be an example. Apart from being really going through a certain phase, possessive children can also imitate this negative behavior from the environment around them. So, it is important for parents to be role models for children by sharing. Avoid fighting over trivial or unnecessary things in front of children.