Table of contents:
- The right way to deal with conflicts with children
- 1. Take control of your emotions
- 2. Communicate well
- 3. Let the child feel the consequences of his own choices
- 4. Look for solutions together
- 5. Learn to forgive each other
The relationship between children and parents will not be separated from quarrels or conflicts. Conflicts with children usually arise because of differences in views or opinions between children and parents. Conflict is also influenced by the way the two respond to and manage ongoing interactions.
Unresolved conflicts with children that lead to drama can interfere with communication and family intimacy. Therefore, as a parent you must be able to handle conflicts with children as well as possible.
The right way to deal with conflicts with children
1. Take control of your emotions
The behavior of children who are difficult to control or against your words will certainly irritate you. However, you must remain calm. Venting emotions will actually make the conflict more complicated and lead to unnecessary drama.
By being calm, you will find it easier to communicate with the child, find out the causes of conflict from both sides, and the child will also soften.
When you are really emotional, tell the child to go to his room first to reflect while you calm down in a different room.
2. Communicate well
When there is a conflict, communicating is not easy; especially if you are angry. However, to resolve conflicts between you and your child, you still need to communicate well with your child, by:
- Don't just require your child to guess and understand what you want. Conflict is the right time to tell your child about your views and expectations. Explain why you have such a different view.
- Make sure your child understands what you are saying, as well as why you disagree with their attitude. Remember, this step may take you hundreds of times. However, stay patient and don't give up.
- Listen to your children, respect their opinions or views. Don't interrupt your child's words, even if you can already guess what the child is going to say in your heart.
3. Let the child feel the consequences of his own choices
As a parent, you may feel entitled to determine when they wake up, what they eat, when they sleep, or how they should dress.
Unfortunately, this often triggers conflict with children. The reason is, children feel they have lost their freedom to choose. Therefore, if one day your child does not obey your words, try to listen to what they feel or want, and let the child feel the consequences for themselves (even if it is not easy for you).
For example, children cannot wake up in the morning. There is no need to scream to wake the child until it becomes a fighting drama in the morning. Just let the child wake up late so late to school. That way, children will learn to themselves that the choice of getting up at noon is not right, without causing excessive drama at home.
4. Look for solutions together
Conflicts with children must be resolved together. The solution could be in the form of an agreement between you and your child, for example, "You can play now until the afternoon, but Mother will not reduce your study hours tonight if you tired. You still have to do your homework and study for two hours. Agree?".
5. Learn to forgive each other
Parents and children are not perfect. The two of them must have made some unintended mistakes. Therefore, you as parents also need to learn to be sincere and open to forgiving your child's mistakes.
Likewise with children. You have to teach your children how to forgive others, including you as a parent.
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