Parents' guide to explaining child mortality

Death is a difficult thing to talk about. Especially when it comes to explaining it to children when someone close to them dies. However, sooner or later you still have to give an understanding of the concept of death in children. Death can happen at any time to the people around him, so you won't keep avoiding it when your child asks "Om X where did you go, Mom?" or “Mom has been gone a long time, huh? When will you return? " So, how do you explain death in children?

How do you explain death in children?

Without you knowing it, your child may already have a bit of a picture of death. For example, from a fairy tale book he read or the death of an animal he saw - whether on TV or around him. However, of course this is not enough. You need to explain death to children more mature so that they can prepare themselves and grieve properly, when one day death comes to their loved ones.

1. Explain in easy to understand language

Many explain the death of a child as simply, "Aunt X is sleeping" or "Grandpa is away for a long time."

At first glance, this method feels right. However, this can lead to misunderstanding because the way children think is very simple. Children know that the person who is away or sleeping will be able to return. That's why they will keep asking questions until their curiosity and curiosity are answered - “Where did it go? Until when? How come I wasn't invited to go? How come you slept so long, huh? " etc.

In fact, death is a permanent occurrence. Cannot be canceled or corrected. Gradually, this way of conveying will foster a sense of rejection in the child as he grows older. She will not believe that her loved one is really dead, and this can lead to depression in the end.

For this reason, explain the concept of death in a familiar, easy to understand, and concise choice of words. For example, give the understanding that death makes a person's body unable to function, cannot move anymore, cannot breathe, cannot speak or eat.

2. Don't avoid questions

It is very normal for children to keep asking questions about death, even repeating the same questions. Because children need time to understand all of that and also the circumstances around them. Answer calmly and keep showing your smile. In this opportunity, you can explain as well as help the child in dealing with the loss of a loved one.

Apart from explaining what death is, you also explain what causes it. For example, grandfather died because he was very old or because of an illness. Tell them that not all illnesses can cause death, only serious illnesses that cannot be treated. Diseases such as coughs or colds that he often experiences will not cause death because they can be treated and are healthy again.

3. Understand the child's response

Death can cause trauma to a child. So, give your children time to grieve in their own way. Every child responds differently when you explain what death is. Some may indicate feelings of sadness, silence, or normalcy as usual. If your child is crying, try to calm him down.

Don't let him drown himself in his grief. You can say things that make him feel calm. Tell him sad and grieving is normal. Give him a hug and wipe his tears. Choose another time to continue the explanation when the child's emotions have improved and they themselves initiate the question.

However, still provide supervision and pay attention to whatever the child is doing. Once you start getting better, you can turn your child to something he likes. So, the child does not continue to be sad.

4. Return to normal activities

Grieving is the best way to heal the loss. Not only children, you can also show your sadness. Do not let you not think about your own health because you focus on children. Just don't express your sadness so much that it makes your child feel uncomfortable around you. Remember that he also lost his loved ones.

Don't let sadness overwhelm your child and you forget about regular meals, breaks, and other activities. Trying to get back to your normal activities can make you feel better and less likely to be sad.

5. Call a doctor

If the child has difficulty accepting the death of their closest person, such as disturbing sleep and other activities, you should immediately consult a doctor. Likewise with you, don't let this continue and it can affect your physical and mental health.